Sunday, February 8, 2009

Leave the cookies.

Ok, obviously that lunch thing didn't work out.

It is 2:47 A.M. and I can not sleep. 

Certain things have been bothering me, and those certain things I can't mention out loud, I can't ever mention anything out loud for fear that it will hurt someone.

Someone said something that really hurt my feelings, and it wasn't even pointed toward me. They said, someone with a music degree will never go far in life, and they blatantly knew that I was going for a music degree.  I mean, honestly, tact. 4 letter word. Look it up, ok? 

My step-mother is still a desperate housewife. 
My father still looks at me like he abandoned me, and he's trying his best to make it okay.
My brothers still look at my like an alien, and I still see myself as a failure.

When will that stop? When will I be able to see myself as something other than someone who never went to college until she was supposed to be finishing? As someone other than a person who just works at a grocery store, even if I like it, and the people I work with? 

I'd like, just once, just one god damn time, to be happy with who I am. Why is that always so hard?

I'd like the grant-a-wish foundation to grant my wish. I want to be happy with me.

Just me.

Only me.

Make it happen. 

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